I gave up and went to the ER today. I'm not sure why, a few hours relief for thousands of dollars? Now that I'm home, it doesn't seem even remotely worth it, but that is what it is when you're chronically ill and hitting your breaking point.
My Crohns Disease has been flaring for roughly 2 years now. Thanks to insurance, my Stelara had gotten delayed by MONTHS last year, so now it doesn't work.. and again, thanks to insurance, my GI doesn't accept my new plan. So I'm in between doctors technically while I work this out.
Unfortunately for me, my Crohns sets off my POTS/Autonomic Neuropathy and Migraines.. and vice versa. So I'm stuck in this endless loop of pain and sickness, and thanks to our bunk ass for-profit healthcare system, there's no end in site. Knowing that my future is just more of this is daunting on good days, enough to send me into suicidal ideation on bad.
I am so tired right now, all I do is eat as little as I can and drink as much fluids as I can and then promptly get sick and half to run to the bathroom. If I'm not in the bathroom, I'm on the couch battling a migraine and nausea. Lord forbid I have a semi-decent day, I'll get on my feet only to have my heart rate skyrocket, cause a migraine, and then drop down into bradycardia when I try and rest. It's never-ending and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.
My newest issue? Severe joint pain. My hands, wrists, elbows, feet, knees and hips. I have no idea why, can't find out either because of.. you guessed it. Insurance. I'm hoping it's just Crohns related inflammation, because I can't face anything else right now.
All I can do is just try to get through each day, one at a time.
